Monday, October 15, 2018

What Remembrance Day Should Be About





The days are getting shorter. The leaves have almost reached their peak and have started to gently fall from the trees. 
  
The fall decorations have been replaced in the stores by Christmas lights and baubles. 
  
And the whispers of discontent have begun. In another week those whispers will increase to a buzz that will eventually morph into heated arguments. 
  
How quickly we forget how much we have to be grateful for. How quickly we refocus our attention on criticizing others. 

How quickly we forget what this time should really be about it. 

And who it should be about. 
  
I’ve come to dread this time of year, this time between Thanksgiving and Remembrance Day. 

A time when my heart becomes heavier. 

While everyone becomes so consumed by their righteousness, however well-intentioned it may be, I have to wonder. 
  
Because sometimes it seems like I hear more about the rightness and wrongness of Christmas lights and decorations or I hear more anti-Remembrance Day propaganda than I do about the actual people we are supposed to be Remembering and honouring. 
  
When did all of this stuff become the most important things we focus on in November? 
  
And I wonder. Do they truly comprehend the enormity of it all? 

But how could they really, how could anyone if they’ve never lived it firsthand. 

You can have glimpses, absolutely. I did on all of those Remembrances Days past. 

But standing at the cenotaph as a wife is nothing like standing there as a widow.  
  
It’s nothing like being the person who lives with the loss every single day. 

Not just on one dreary day in November. But on all of the days. 
  
For so many of us, too many of us, every day is Remembrance Day. 
  
So over the next few weeks, while my newsfeed fills with anti-Remembrance Day and anti-military articles, with debates about the red poppy glorifying war and the white poppy of peace, and with arguments about Christmas lights being disrespectful, and the value of the Legion, those won’t be the things I’m focused on. 
  
Instead, I’ll be here trying to decide if today is the day I’m actually ready to visit my husband’s grave at the National Military Cemetery. 

I haven’t been there since the day he was buried four years ago. I’ve been to his private grave at home in Nova Scotia. But not here. 

I haven’t been able to go there yet. 
  
Here is so much heavier. Because It is laden with the grief of an entire regiment. And so many painful memories. 
  
Do I go today? Do I go alone? 
  
I could ask my son or my friend who was Dan’s Battery Sergeant Major or any one of my friends to go with me, but I know how hard it would be for them to bear witness to my grief. 
  
And some journeys, the hardest ones, you have to make on your own. 
  
Those are the questions I’ll be asking myself. Not, why does my neighbour have Christmas lights up?

When I go to his grave for the first time, I will undoubtedly relive that day.

Some memories are indelibly etched on your soul.

And as I stand in front of that granite headstone, my fingers tracing our name, I will see and feel it all.

I will see my own sadness reflected in my friend’s eyes as he passes me a crisply folded flag, tears flowing freely down his cheeks.

I will fill the dirt slipping through my fingers. Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

I will hear echoes of the Last Post as soldiers two-by-two salute their commanding officer’s grave, their eyes avoiding mine lest they not be able to contain their own emotions.
   
I will remember the heat and humidity. My feet were so swollen and sore, my shoes pinched my toes with every step. I just wanted to rip them off but I couldn’t. I had to teeter on through the pain.
   
Just as I would on so many days in the months and years to come.

And I will remember how exhausted I was and how I just wanted it to be all over. Not knowing that it is never, really over.
  
Please let it be over now. I can’t do this another day.
   
I just want to go home. Even though home will never be the same.

The next time you come across a meme or post about Remembrance Day, before you comment or share, or argue with a friend or neighbour I hope you pause for a moment.

Pause for a moment and remember what it’s truly about. Who it’s truly about.

And ask yourself— is what you’re sharing really honouring those who have died and those they left behind?
  
Pause.

Remember them.

And remember, somewhere out there, there is a widow trying to work up the courage to visit a cemetery.
   
Isn’t that what it should really be about?

  
Read Monica's thoughts on War Memorials in Odes to Our Fallen   

To learn more about grief, resiliency, and life after loss, follow Monica on Facebook at A Goat Rodeo
SHARE:

58 comments


  1. Hi there! This article could not be written much better!
    Reading through this article reminds me of my previous roommate!
    He continually kept preaching about this. I’ll forward this information to him. 일본야동

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is an awesome motivating article. I am practically satisfied with your great work. You put truly extremely accommodating data. Keep it up. Continue blogging Hoping to perusing your next post.

    일본야동

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fantastic post! Please keep sharing. I know of a roofing company if you are looking for Game Please get in touch! Thanks, have a good day
    야설

    ReplyDelete

  4. I have recently started a website, the information you provide on this website has helped me greatly. Thank you for all of your time & work.
    한국야동

    ReplyDelete
  5. Such an amazing and helpful post.바카라사이트 I really really love it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you for providing a good 토토사이트quality article.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks for such a valuable post. 카지노사이트I am waiting for your next post, I have enjoyed a lot reading this post keep it up.

    ReplyDelete
  8. As I web-site possessor I believe the content matter here is rattling magnificent , appreciate it for your hard work. You should keep it up forever! 온라인카지노

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thanks for giving me grateful information. I think this is very important to me. Your post is quite different. That’s why I regularly visit your site. 바카라사이트

    ReplyDelete
  10. Your writing is excellent. I was so touched after reviewing your writing. I more than happy to discover the exact same writing as the subject I was trying to find. I'm extremely jealous of what many individuals sympathize with after discovering your writing. I intend to share this joy with others by composing like you. 카지노사이트

    ReplyDelete
  11. Its a great pleasure reading your post.Its full of information I am looking for and I love to post a comment that "The content of your post is awesome" 에볼루션카지노

    ReplyDelete
  12. I must say informative content you shared, thank you for this . This post is very informative on this topic. I feel strongly that love and read more on this topic. I just tripped upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog stations. Thanks for sharing. I have been impressed after read this because of some quality work and informative thoughts. I just want to say thanks for the writer and wish you all the best for coming! Your exuberance is refreshing. Thank you again for all the knowledge you distribute,Good post. I was very interested in the article, it's quite inspiring I should admit. I like visiting you site since I always come across interesting articles like this one. 먹튀검증

    ReplyDelete
  13. Very useful post. This is my first time i visit here. I found so many interesting stuff in your blog especially its discussion. Really its great article. Keep it up. Nice post! This is a very nice blog that I will definitively come back to more times this year! Thanks for informative post. I have read all the comments and suggestions posted by the visitors for this article are very fine,We will wait for your next article so only.Thanks I think this is an informative post and it is very beneficial and knowledgeable. Therefore, I would like to thank you for the endeavors that you have made in writing this article. All the content is absolutely well-researched. Thanks 토토사이트

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hmm is anyone else experiencing problems with the pictures on this blog loading? I’m trying to find out if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog. Any feed-back would be greatly appreciated. Love your blog..Thanks for sharing.Such an amazing and informative post. Love the way You write..keep going the good work.Lovr your site . Do you mind generally if I mention one or two of your current blogs as long as I deliver you acknowledgement coupled with sources returning to your web site? My blog site is within the corresponding topic as your own and my web site visitors would certainly make use of some of the help and advice that you provide on this site. 메이저놀이터

    ReplyDelete
  15. Nice information, you write very nice articles. 파워볼게임

    ReplyDelete
  16. Your web site has great web content. I assume it was a great chance to transform my mind once more after reading this post. I'm composing like you. Would certainly you such as to see my message as well as request comments? 바카라사이트

    ReplyDelete
  17. To begin with, let us take a gander at what the item is. The oil is a compound taken from the Cannabis plant. The oil is produced by extraction at that point weakened utilizing a transporter oil, normally hemp or coconut oil
    오피월드

    oworldsmewep

    ReplyDelete
  18. Great post i must say and thanks for the information. Education is definitely a sticky subject. However, is still among the leading topics of our time. I appreciate your post and look forward to more. 메이저사이트

    ReplyDelete
  19. What i do not realize is if truth be told how you’re no
    longer actually a lot more well-favored than you might be right now.
    You are so intelligent. You recognize therefore significantly when it comes to this subject, made me in my view consider it from so many various angles.
    Its like women and men don’t seem to be fascinated unless it is something to do with Lady gaga!
    Your own stuffs excellent. Always care for it up!
    경마

    magosucowep

    ReplyDelete
  20. The best rated authorized reseller of server and networking hardware store near by New York, California, Florida, Texas, United States 안전놀이터

    ReplyDelete
  21. wow, great, I was wondering how to cure acne naturally. and found your site by google, learned a lot, now i’m a bit clear. I’ve bookmark your site and also add rss. keep us updated. It was a very good post indeed. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it in my lunch time. Will surely come and visit this blog more often. Thanks for sharing. Surprisingly! It truly is as if you study my thoughts! A person seem to understand so a lot relating to this, exactly like you authored the book in it or even something. I feel which you can perform with some images they are driving the message property a bit, besides that, this really is good weblog. 먹튀프렌즈

    ReplyDelete
  22. Awesome article! I want people to know just how good this information is in your article. It’s interesting, compelling content. Your views are much like my own concerning this subject. This post is very informative on this topic. I feel strongly that love and read more on this topic. I just tripped upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog stations. Thanks for sharing. I was very pleased to find this website. I wanted to thank you for your time for this wonderful post!! I definitely enjoy reading it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you blog post. 안전놀이터

    ReplyDelete
  23. I think youve made some actually helpful factors. Not as well lots of people would actually feel about this the best way you simply did. Im genuinely impressed that theres so much about this matter thats been uncovered and you also did it so nicely, with so considerably class. Fantastic one you, man! Definitely terrific things correct here. After study several of the web sites for your web site now, i truly like your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website list and will also be checking back soon. Pls check out my website also and figure out if you agree 토토사이트

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hello, This is a very interesting blog. this content is written very well This is an amazing post, keep blogging. thanks for sharing. Anyways I am here now and could just like to say thank for a tremendous post and a all round entertaining website. Please do keep up the great work. Everything is very open with a really clear explanation of the issues. It was informative. Your website is useful. Thanks for sharing! I suggest you to our article about which is beneficial for and I am sure you like our article. Spot up for this write-up, I seriously think this fabulous website needs a great deal more consideration. I’ll likely to end up once more to study additional, thank you that info. 토토마블

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It’s exhausting to seek out knowledgeable people on this topic, however you sound like you realize what you’re talking about! Thanks trapontech

      Delete
  25. Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you penning this post and also the rest of the site is also very good. Wow! This can be one particular of the most beneficial blogs We have ever arrive across on this subject. Actually Great. I am also a specialist in this topic so I can understand your effort. It’s really a nice and useful piece of info. I’m glad that you shared this helpful info with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing. 먹튀지구대

    ReplyDelete
  26. I discovered your website internet site online and check a couple of your early posts. Always keep inside the excellent operate. I just additional your Rss to my MSN News Reader. Seeking forward to reading far more from you finding out down the road!… Dude.. I am not much into reading, but somehow I got to read many articles on your blog. Its amazing how interesting it is for me to stop by you pretty often. just looking around some blogs, seems a pretty nice platform you are using and the theme as well. I’m currently using WordPress for a few of my sites but looking to change one of them over to a platform similar to yours as a trial run. Anything in particular you would recommend about it? 토토서치

    ReplyDelete
  27. I am really enjoying reading your well written articles. It looks like you spend a lot of effort and time on your blog. I have bookmarked it and I am looking forward to reading new articles. This is exceptionally intriguing substance! I have completely appreciated perusing your focuses and have arrived at the conclusion that you are ideal about a considerable lot of them. You are extraordinary. I am pleased and fortunate to come on to your site, I really liked the wonderful article on your site. Thanks for this useful information. I also found very interesting information 카지노세상

    ReplyDelete
  28. Hey there, have you by chance asked yourself to create concerning Nintendo DSi? what is super alexa mode

    ReplyDelete
  29. These are the precautions one 메이저추천 has taken for its reopening

    ReplyDelete
  30. Welcome to my new casino - KTNV
    A $1,000 welcome bonus and 대구광역 출장마사지 150 문경 출장마사지 free spins. A player who enjoys 경산 출장안마 gambling has only one gambling machine to enjoy. The casino's 동해 출장샵 welcome bonus 속초 출장샵

    ReplyDelete
  31. I wish I had a dime for every bad article I’ve read lately. I also wish other writers had your talent and style. Thank you. Preowned watches

    ReplyDelete
  32. I very happy to find this website on bing, just what I was looking for : D too bookmarked . wealthify vs freetrade

    ReplyDelete
  33. I very happy to find this website on bing, just what I was looking for : D too bookmarked . licensed moneylender

    ReplyDelete
  34. Fashion Courses Online… [...]the time to read or visit the content or sites we have linked to below the[...]… face roller results

    ReplyDelete
  35. Fashion Courses Online… [...]the time to read or visit the content or sites we have linked to below the[...]… hermes apple watch band

    ReplyDelete
  36. "I like to look at an article that makes individuals think.토토사이트
    Besides, thank you for allowing me to remark!"

    ReplyDelete
  37. It's superior, however , check out material at the street address. 토토커뮤니티

    ReplyDelete
  38. Find the best essays on is my friend's profile page. 먹튀검증사이트

    ReplyDelete
  39. Interesting post. I Have Been wondering about this issue, so thanks for posting. Pretty cool post.It 's really very nice and Useful post.Thanksสล็อตออนไลน์

    ReplyDelete
  40. I just found this blog and have high hopes for it to continue. Keep up the great work, its hard to find good ones. I have added to my favorites. Thank You.สล็อตแตกง่าย

    ReplyDelete
  41. Great Information sharing .. I am very happy to read this article .. thanks for giving us go through info.Fantastic nice. I appreciate this post.บา คา ร่า วอ เลท

    ReplyDelete
  42. I appreciate everything you have added to my knowledge base.Admiring the time and effort you put into your blog and detailed information you offer.Thanks.สล็อตเว็บใหญ่

    ReplyDelete
  43. Really a great addition. I have read this marvelous post. Thanks for sharing information about it. I really like that. Thanks so lot for your convene.สล็อต ฝาก-ถอน true wallet ไม่มี บัญชีธนาคาร

    ReplyDelete
  44. Very good points you wrote here..Great stuff...I think you've made some truly interesting points.Keep up the good work.บาคาร่าวอเลท

    ReplyDelete
  45. Thanks for taking the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love learning more on this topic.สล็อตแตกง่าย

    ReplyDelete
  46. This is an extraordinary element for sharing this useful message. I am dazzled by the information you have on this blog. It causes me from multiple points of view. A debt of gratitude is in order for posting this once more. 안전사이트

    ReplyDelete
  47. Hello I am so delighted I located your blog, I really located you by mistake, while I was watching on google for something else, Anyways I am here now and could just like to say thank for a tremendous post and a all round entertaining website. Please do keep up the great work 에볼루션 카지노

    ReplyDelete
  48. This is a wonderful article, Given so much info in it, These type of articles keeps the users interest in the website, and keep on sharing more ... good luck. 카지노사이트

    ReplyDelete
  49. I want looking at and I believe this website got some really useful stuff on it! 비대면대출

    ReplyDelete
  50. thanks for the tips and information..i really appreciate it 먹튀검증

    ReplyDelete

© A Goat Rodeo With Monica Bobbitt. All rights reserved.
BLOGGER TEMPLATE MADE BY pipdig